See my review of 2024 here.
If you want to comment on this post, you can do so on my x-post on substack.
A lot happened this year!
I feel like I say this every year, and I think that’s because for the past few years I’ve been changing up a lot in my life; pursuing, shaping, adjusting, trying to be intentional.1 And 2025 was no different.
This year felt like a 2-in-1 for me, with one chapter ending and another one beginning. I wrapped up my two-year-long sabbatical because I got into grad school, and I started school in August. All in all, I’m feeling really great – I’m grateful for where I’ve been, and I’m thoroughly enjoying the new path I’m on.
Being fully immersed in grad school now, I am learning just how different the field of therapy is what I thought and what I was doing before, and what it is going to require of me. They say that you, the clinician, are the tool through which the therapy is conducted, thus it is important to understand yourself. Well, this goes waaay deeper than I initially thought, which I guess is why there’s so much training.
I also kind of got thrown into the deep end but with some support structures, which is honestly how I prefer to learn. It’s been a lot, but it really feels like there’s no place I’d rather be right now. It’s crazy how fun and engaging school and training can be when you’re really into the subject.
Introspection and deep, incisive honestly are important. So are compassion and humility.
Also, for some reason I have this recurring temptation to want to believe that all of my classmates, and other therapists in general, are similar to me in how we think and what we believe. But in fact every therapist is different! I suspect that there are more or less therapists of every personality type out there (except maybe enneagram type 7s), just with some more common shared tendencies to want to understand other people’s perspectives. But there’s still so much variety in what people believe, the angles they like to approach from, how sociable they are, etc.
(Additionally this means if you’re still looking for the right therapist-client fit, don’t give up. There are therapists out there that you’ll work well with.)
Almost immediately upon starting my clinical training and getting acculturated to the field, I would have moments where I felt like life was surreal. Because a lot of what I’d hear, about how to think as a therapist, aligned so well with how I already liked to think or things I wanted to do more of.
“Hell yeah, this is so sick,” is something I found myself saying a lot.
And it’s not just the vibes being aligned. It’s the day-to-day and general direction feeling good too. During my sabbatical, I kept returning to one of my values: industry (“to work hard and well at my life tasks”). And I wanted the next thing I did to be something that I wanted to work hard at. Something that I could do for 8 hours per day that didn’t want to make me bash my head into a wall. The “8 hours” part is really important to me, because it represents having a Main Thing that you’re pursuing and trying to get good at. That’s what I want for myself.
I’d considered art, but ultimately it wasn’t something I could do for hours a day. I’d considered stock trading, but that felt hollow, like I wasn’t contributing anything to other people. I’d considered life coaching, but I found I really did not like the marketing side of starting up a life coaching business.
Then at some point during my sabbatical I realized I was spending a lot of my time on youtube watching Dr. K videos, learning about psychology, and learning about my own mind and how to best live with it. Fast forward to today, and it turns out that I’m really enjoying spending 8 hours a day training to be come a therapist: doing sessions, getting supervision, learning theory, reading the readings, reflecting, and even writing the papers.
In my case, grad school turned out to be exactly what I needed: the structure enables me to actually focus my attetion on one domain for 8 hours per day, I get instruction from actual practicing clinicians, I have peers that are as interested in the field as I am, and I get the opportunity to train with clients right away. As for the downsides? To use the words of Mark Manson, I could eat this specific flavour of sh*t sandwich all day.
While I’m pretty exhausted by the end of most days, there really is no place I’d rather be.
Full post here.
I finished 29 portrait studies (#467-495), over 92/365 days and 64.5 hours.
And I f*cking cooked!! Here are some of my favourites:
I was drawing at a decent clip in the first 8 months of the year, but basically completely paused once I started school. Being in school makes it very hard to draw, mostly due to me allocating most of my focus and mental energy to school and clinical work.
I’d like to draw more in 2026 if possible, but I’m trying to not force it.
Some other observations:
Including this review, I published 14 blog posts this year.
I wrapped up my Sabbatical Notes series.
I started posting recipes that I really like. Maybe this will eventually become my own little assorted collection / cookbook.
And I wrote a bunch of educational-ish posts that I’m proud of:
Again, with school now in full swing, I’m not sure what kind of posts I’ll be putting out (or have the time to put out). Regardless, I still want to be publishing at some rate.
Concerts
Movies & Shows
Mostly for my own records.
Jan
New Year’s in Shanghai. Decided to apply to grad school, and began cramming applications.
Also started 3 psych pre-req classes for the PsyD programs I was applying to, (1) in case I got in, and (2) as an experiment to see if being in class would make me want to bash my head into a wall or not.
Feb
Indecision! Flip-flopping on if I even wanted to do grad school, vs continuing on the leisurely pathless path of my sabbatical.
Mar
I decided to commit to the grad school path: I would apply, AND if I didn’t get in I would apply again in the next cycle. I was going to school.
And then I got in :)
Apr, May
Oriented around starting school in Aug, planning what projects I’d work on with my remaining time. Also visited NYC for Sam’s bday.
June, July, Aug
Wrapped up projects, mostly writing and logistics. I also hit Diamond 2 in Street Fighter 6 (Ken), and got very into the mobile game Umamusume: Pretty Derby around this time.
The rest of this time was mostly socializing and summer travel.
And so my sabbatical was complete.
Aug, part 2
Began clinical training on Aug 15, right after my Guatemala trip.
Also flew to NYC for a weekend to see a concert, which I will probably never do again in my life.
Sep
Began classes. I have clincial work on M/W/F and classes on T/Th, so I commute to Berkeley every day.
I also started personal therapy again, as it was strongly recommended by all of my supervisors and instructors. And it’s been really great!
Oct
Started working with my first two patients at the clinic.
Also started getting very into watches at the end of the month here.
Nov
Started shadowing to help facilitate an intensive outpatient group for substance use treatment.
My schedule finally solidifed here. I spend my time on work + class + schoolwork, with some time for friends. Then maybe squeezing in gym once a week, and any other hobby stuff wherever I can.
Spent my Thanksgiving break in Honolulu for some well-needed relaxation and surfing.
Dec
Final exams and papers for school, which were mostly reasonable. Plus preparing my patients for the winter break.
Spent my winter break with family at home and in the Bahamas.
I’m feeling quite reflective this holiday season. Maybe because we’re now halfway through the 2020s, maybe because I’m starting on this new life path. (I’ve been jokingly call it my “second life”). Looking at 2020-2025, a lot happened:
- 2020-2022 – COVID and crazy times in the world, at work, and personally
- 2022-2023 – Burning out at work and trying everything I could to salvage things
- 2023-2025 – Quit and went on sabbatical; did and processed a lot of stuff
- 2025 – I started on this new grad school path
Is it just in my nature to try to do a lot? Is it because I am never satisfied? This is something I’m examining now – I want to push and improve the things I care about, and I know why (in short: existential anxiety). The new thing I’m asking is: “What if I didn’t try to improve this?” ↩︎