“This guy has literally been pumping out writing, consistently, for 10 years. And here I am with my scatterbrained 14 blog posts, I have so far to go to even get to some semblance of competence.”

“I wish I practiced piano more when I was a kid.”

There are of course comparisons that are positive and productive, ones that are feather-light and don’t cause any feeling of tighness in the chest, yet they expand our taste or reveal something to us to get us unstuck. But these aren’t problematic, they don’t set us off, and therefore we don’t spend much time dwelling on them.

When we say “comparison is the thief of joy”, we really mean negatively comparing. The comparisons that make us feel small, or icky, or deflated, or angry.

And it’s so damn easy to fall into the trap of comparisons. It strikes something deep in our brains I think, some mix of:

• Our inherent desire to feel accepted or secure (which flows into ideas life Status or Materialism)
• We might not know what we want, and so we look to what other people want or have or how they’re viewed as
• It’s something for fear to latch onto, an excuse for us to beat ourselves up or procrastinate or give up
• It might be familiar, neurologically comforting in a way, to reactivate past patterns of comparison; like parents saying “Oh how come you’re not like so-and-so, or doing this-and-that?”

So what can we do?

It’s easy to tense up, clench, to spiral and beat ourselves up and then beat ourselves up for beating ourselves up, etc.

But over time I’ve learned there’s another option entirely. You can learn to unclench. Breathe in. And then out. Acknowledge your feelings, examine them, and integrate them bit by bit. And ultimately refuse to play the game of comparisons.

All you can do is what’s in your control, today, in the current moment.

It’s why I’m writing this post, even though part of me thinks my writing is cringe and I have no idea if I’m expressing what I want to express.

Doing the Thing, right now, may not be to your level of taste, but it’s still kinda fun, and there’s something sublime about the process, and taking a step forward. Screw everyone else and where they might be at.

You literally cannot be behind on your own journey.

“You literally cannot be behind on your own journey” https://t.co/WT3bm4y3od

— Hamir Kalyani Stan Account (5/100 dreams dreamed) (@vivekt17) January 9, 2023