May you find some encouragement in these words, that they may ease your journey a little. But also feel free to ignore anything and everything that doesn’t land!
To the big questions on self-discovery and meaning and fulfillment, unfortunately it looks like there might not be any actual succinct answers, not really. There’s only the journey, there’s only the present. I know this sounds vague as shit, but it’s starting to sink in for me more and more I think. And it’s also what makes life so fun.
In the meantime, let’s chat a bit about figuring out what we want to do.
…
Identify what’s important to you, at this moment. You know what you want to do. Some of the things I remember include: coding (solving problems), landing a job, a cappella and music, making friends, and playing video games (single-player story games and multi-player competitive games).
Take some time to think about why you like these things (this goes deeper than you think), and you’ll build an understanding of yourself that compounds, and will help you make more aligned decisions.
Also, be mindful of other things you might want to do (and why).
Write them all down, and then Prioritize, prioritize, prioritize. This will be painful and require sacrifice, but it’s necessary (see the 5/25 Rule). You can only do so many things at once, and if you try to do too many things you won’t progress much in any of them.
It’s OK if the prioritization is rough and not perfect. We can always iterate–you can try, learn, and adjust whenever you decide.
Whew, OK. That’s enough thinking.
Now it’s time to chase after what you’ve prioritized, and chase hard. Try, try, try, fail, and keep trying. Do the Thing. It will take work, but progress only comes from Doing the Thing, a lot.
Yea: no practice → naive practice → purposeful practice → deliberate practice.
— Visa (@visakanv) November 16, 2020
I’ve talked to 100s of people about this- about 20% of them barely practice at all and are afraid naive practice will destroy their imaginary gains from the deliberate practice they’re not doing
(I don’t think this really needs mentioning but) Do, then Introspect. Make adjustments and Do again. But I’m not worried about the introspection part–us, we tend to do it naturally, and it’s a beautiful thing.
Find supportive contexts–friends and peers. They will both encourage you and reveal to you a wider range of possibilities, which are some of the ingredients for understanding and growth. In the past I think we just relied on RNG to find ourselves in contexts that happened to be supportive or aligned with our values. But you can actually take an active role in searching out and also building these contexts! I’m pretty new to being intentional about this even today, so no pressure. But hopefully this plants the seed for something useful.
sometimes people think their bottleneck is time but it’s actually the absence of a supportive context
— Visa (@visakanv) May 20, 2022
You’re smart, you’ve got it from here. Keep pushing. I’m supremely confident that you will work hard in this arena and search. And think. And chase, and chase. And you’ll get closer and closer to what you’re looking for.
Enjoy the trip. While we continue to aspire to keep improving, to reach some “better” state than now, it’s important to also enjoy the moment! One framing: the present is all that you can experience, so live in the present more (vs judging what’s already done in the past or worrying about futures that have yet to come). Read some Alan Watts, you’ll like him.
What other people think doesn’t matter (of course it can matter, but you need this more than the other end of the spectrum). We tend to latch onto advice in the form of “Do X, it’s good for you,” and then for some reason we subsequently think “if I don’t do X then I’m Bad”. This is simply not true! It’s OK to find what works for you, discard what doesn’t, and move on. People speak from their own contexts which can be vastly different from yours. Sometimes things resonate or really work for us, sometimes they really don’t.
It’s OK to find what works for you, discard what doesn’t, and move on. (This applies to this letter too!)
I’m honestly not sure how well this will land. But I do know that what I’ve shared comes from the months and years of work and iterating and iterating that we put in, and so far it feels good. And I know you’re on the right path too and you’ll figure it out and you’ll put in the work. It is one hell of a fun trip. Enjoy!
With love,
29-year-old me
P.S. here are some other tweets in the same vein as all of this:
"Assume you live to 80, you don't really start building things until 20, 25, and you probably don't have the capacity to start really big new things in the last 15, 20 years of life? That means you have enough time to do about eight things." pic.twitter.com/r6AZljbFE6
— Ava (@noampomsky) May 16, 2022
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whenever we have a disagreement, the first thing I want to understand is: how have your experiences have been different from mine? pic.twitter.com/gNCFnhzCZB
— Visa (@visakanv) February 19, 2019
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one of the things i wish i had learned earlier in my 20s is that the social guilt you might feel for being antisocial is more in your head than real, and that diving deeply into what makes you happy, even if it doesn't involve many other people, is worthwhile and not selfish.
— Riva (@rivatez) May 12, 2019
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Hahahahahahahaha How The Fuck Is Cyber Bullying Real Hahahaha Nigga Just Walk Away From The Screen Like Nigga Close Your Eyes Haha
— T (@tylerthecreator) December 31, 2012