Inspired by some teachings in the Bhagavad Gita1, and this Dr. K video.
Here’s what happens for me 80% of the time – I’m motivated to do something, and so I go do it. Sometimes it’s easy, and I don’t have to think about it much; sometimes it’s harder, but I can still push through and get it done. The other 20% of the time is when I struggle and don’t end up doing the thing.
What’s happenning? Why are we sometimes motivated and sometimes not? Why is it sometimes easy to do things, and while at other times it feels impossible?
Here are some “motivating factors” I can think of:
And when we don’t feel motivated to do X, the first thing we tend to ask is: How do I get more motivated? How do I amp up these factors?
And sometimes we are able to get more motivated, e.g. by hyping ourselves up. But there are times where even that doesn’t work.
What if this entire view of motivation is flawed, and there is another way to do things?
What are we actually doing when we try to get more motivated? Why do we want to be motivated?
Because when we’re motivated, doing things is easy!
If only we were motivated all the time, then we would get everything done and we wouldn’t have to struggle or feel anxious or be stressed!
But by feeding into this belief, we start a cycle of preferring to do things when they are easy. And over time this reduces our ability to do things when it’s hard or when we don’t feel like it. We become only able to do things when it feels easy. Ultimately, we end up at the mercy of our wants and feelings.
Our wants control us; we are not in control.
Now, imagine if we could do things regardless of how we’re feeling.
(Buckle up, this is where things get a bit weird and woo-y.)
How do I do things regardless of how I’m feeling? And especially if I’m feeling bad?
What does “feeling bad” mean? Usually it’s wanting to avoid the pain of doing the thing.
Why? Because my brain assesses that the reward of doing the thing is not worth the pain.
For example: going to the gym today
So clearly it is not worth it to go to the gym today. (Honestly, valid.)
But notice that this assessment is focused on the outcome and ROI. And we want to be able to act independently of our brain’s immediate ROI calculation.
How do I act independently of poor immediate ROI?
By thinking about the long-term ROI, amirite :)
Notice that this is still focused on ROI, and to me this also has a bit of a coercive edge to it. “Shoulds” often come up for me. I “should” do this because of the long-term benefits (and if I don’t do this → then I’m losing out → that is bad → I’m a bad person, etc.).
All this to say that aiming at the long-term ROI may not work either, because it’s still playing the same game of focusing on the outcome.
So how do I act independent of ROI entirely?
A key teaching from the Bhagavad Gita goes something like: “You have a right to do [your duty / the things you must do / the things only you can do], but you are not entitled to the fruits of the action.”1
If you (1) take the cations you can, today, and (2) let go of the outcome, then that actually brings freedom.
In the gym example: going to the gym today is itself the desired result.
Why? Because I want to practice acting regardless of the perceived outcome.
Why? Because then I can get the outcomes, hah!! … *ahem*
So if we are letting go of the outcome, what remains?
Because I want to be someone who can act regardless of how I’m feeling.
This is self-efficacy. And self-efficacy is attainable right now, today.
Do what you can do today.
Do what you’d be proud of yourself for doing when you go to bed at night.
Do the thing today as a gift to the person who will wake up in your body tomorrow.
Take care of yourself.
Notice when you’re orienting toward outcomes, to break out of the default frame.
This framing of letting go of the outcome and doing what you can do today also feels like bedrock to me. Acting from motivation can only go so far. And in the worst of times you will end up back here, wanting to act when you’re not feeling up to it. So why not learn how to do this from the get-go?
If you have keen eye, you might’ve noticed that I may have fallen into the same trap I was trying to escape from: turning “self-efficacy” into a new outcome to pursue. Once I have enough self-efficacy, then I’ll be able to do everything I want to (and then I’ll be happy).
As of now, I’m of two minds on this:
(1) Focusing on ‘self-efficacy in the moment’ feels OK
Maybe this works because it’s still centered around being in the moment… Or maybe this only works for a while as an intermediary step before I understand that I’m still playing the same game. Idk.
It feels decent right now, so we’ll see.
(2) Trying to short-circuit the need to improve things entirely
This whole post is really rooted in my desire to improve my life, in this case through learning how to do things without needing to feel motivated.
I want to be in control of my wants, not the other way around. Oh the irony!
I don’t have a fine grasp on this phenomenon to be able to describe it clearly, but there is a certain running in circles that’s going on here. Kind of like trying to dismantle the harsh inner critic in your head, which is just using methodology that channels the harsh inner critic, which keeps it perpetuating.
But maybe there’s an entirely othrogonal way out.
One question I’ve come up with is: What if I didn’t try to improve this?
The intention here is to ask myself this question a lot. Especially when I jump to wanting to improve things, asking this question can hopefully introduce a moment of awareness and consideration. What if I didn’t try to improve this? But I must improve this!! That’s data to work with.
I’m not entirely sure where this path leads, but in the Eastern spiritual traditions this is where it starts, or so Claude tells me. We’ll see what happens.
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I’m not very happy with how I’m ending this piece, but whatever, publish what I can today! I’m writing this mostly to have something to refer back to when I’m stuck in the motivation trap again. To practice coming back to the present. This rough pointer is sufficient.